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Web 2.0 Expo NY: Gary Vaynerchuk

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Take at least 2 minutes and watch this video. It’s 15 minutes long but listen to at least the first 2 minutes and see if you want to watch the rest.

YOU DON’T HAVE 2 MINUTES TO CHECK THIS OUT???
CLICK THE LINK!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EhqZ0RU95d4

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Do You Have a T-shirt?

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Doc Brown or Creepy Guy from work???

Doc Brown or Creepy Guy from work???

I was wandering around the halls at work again with a coworker and I saw that one extraordinarily eerie mad scientist wannabe.

As soon as I saw him, I started laughing. He seemed like he was wandering the halls looking for his next victim.

I spoke to him and his face brightened up! This is what he said…

A guy walked into a store and asked them if they had any t-shirts.
The store worker said no.
So the guy asked him if they had any coffee shirts.

I actually gave him a chuckle at that one. This time, he walked away pleased instead of sad and mumbling to himself like I usually prefer he does.

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Adventures in Post Office Madness Part 2

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This is a story about a guy I met on one of my mail routes.

Two other casual carriers worked there besides me. One guy who was younger than me got fired. He actually was “asked to quit”. They ask you to quit because if you get fired from the post office, you can never get hired again. They asked him to quit and he whined and complained and they said he cried because he didn’t want to quit. They eventually explained to him why quitting was better than being fired and he conceded.

But he usually did the same route while he was there. After he was gone, they had me do that route.

It went pretty smooth. Not too many abandoned houses or houses that were destroyed by fire. No random dogs walking around the yards or barking at me through the mail chute. It was a pretty decent neighborhood overall.

One day while I was delivering mail along that route, I had to get a signature for a certified letter. Some guy came to the door and started talking all friendly to me while I was waiting for him to sign.

He asked where the other guy that usually delivered the mail was. I told him I wasn’t sure what happened to him. (I didn’t want to spread around that he got fired.) The guy started telling me he was a music producer and he gets the hookup in the clubs in Detroit. I said “oh cool”. Somehow we exchanged numbers and we were supposed to hang out eventually.

I didn’t think much about it until he called the next evening.

During the phone conversation, he started asking all of these “getting to know you” type questions. Questions like “where are you from”, “where did you go to college”, “how old are you”. Awkward questions for a guy to ask another guy. At first it was cool, but he kept asking more and more personal questions. It started feeling like he was a young lady I just met and we were getting better acquainted before our first date.

It started getting really weird. He then asked me when I would be delivering mail around his block again. I told him I didn’t know. I actually didn’t know but even if I did, I wouldn’t tell him. The whole thing was getting WEIRD.

I asked him why he wanted to know. He said,”Because… I want to see you.” I almost dropped the phone.

I said, “WHAT?” He said, “Because I want to see you n***a!”

Right when he said that, my mom walked in the room. I looked at her dumbfounded. She looked at me and said, “What?” I didn’t know what to say.

I told the guy that I’d call him back and hung up.

I told her the whole story and she laaaaaaaaughed and laaaaaaaaughed.

I never saw him when I did that route. He called back a few more times but I didn’t answer. He stopped calling. All of this happened in November. I ended up quitting around the beginning of December.

THEN!!! He called me on christmas and of course I didn’t answer. He left a voicemail wishing me a merry christmas and happy new year. I got creeped out all over again. I had nightmares for the next 3 months!!!

Not really but it was creepy all over again.

I didn’t hear from him again after that.

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Adventures in Post Office Madness Part 1

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Back when I used to be a mail carrier for the United States Post Office, tons of the most insane things happened. I’ll post one of the weirdest stories Friday. Today, I’ll talk about why I was delivering mail in the first place.

After I graduated from college, I got a job offer from a company in Virginia. It seemed great and I was all for it. But, for various reasons, I had to wait a little while before I could actually start working. During this time, I was sitting at my parents’ house in Michigan while those things got sorted out. I was bored and did nothing all day.

My dad was retired and he kinda wanted another job. He was thinking about applying for the “casual carrier” position for the Detroit post office. What casual carriers do is fill in at a particular post office wherever they’re needed. They do a lot but the position is only temporary. A casual carrier works 90 day cycles and can only do 2 of those cycles per year. The goal is to do so well that you’ll become a real mail carrier.

My dad had applied and really wanted to do it. Since I was sitting around the house, he suggested that I apply too. I told him I shouldn’t because I’d end up taking his job. I also didn’t want to drag sacks of mail around. He said “hogwash”. I applied.

I got a call not too long afterwards that said I can come down to the main post office in downtown Detroit. My dad was a bit upset that I got the interview and didn’t even want it. But I think he was more upset that they didn’t give him that same call.

The interview was an information session where they gave all of the rules of being a postal carrier. They made me fill out a fat application packet where I had to give background information and such. They also gave me a date to meet up with a driving instructor so they could make sure I was able to drive with the steering wheel on the right side.

I went through the process a little too smoothly and ended up getting the job. The job was a lot of hard work, a lot of walking, and a lot of fun. I met some interesting people in the post office that I didn’t keep in touch with. I also met a lot of people while I was delivering mail that I couldn’t get away from fast enough. Friday’s story will be about one of those people.

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A Club Sandwich

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Club SandwichAnother wonderfully corny joke from my favorite creepy corny cannibal at work.

A guy goes into a restaurant and orders a club sandwich. They give him two slices of bread and a baseball bat.

Because a baseball bat is a club.

(mumbles) So much for that one.

He was talking to some lady in front of me in the cafeteria line. He walked up out of nowhere and started telling her the joke. He kinda glanced back at me while he was telling it. I was dumbfounded that he was telling another corny joke. It seems like that’s his thing.

I knew I should look away but I couldn’t help but stare. Until he got to the very end and the lady he was talking to did her nervous laugh. Then he started looking for someone else to share in his glory. I stared at the ceiling until he walked away mumbling to himself.

Munchytoes

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