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I’ve always heard rumors of pets eating their owner’s dead body if the body isn’t found within a few days and the pet gets hungry. I thought it was the craziest thing ever! But I’m pretty sure my cat will eat my face if I’m not found within one day of dying in my sleep.
If I’m not awake by 7am, my cat Munchytoes will jump in the bed with me and start rubbing her head on my hand. That usually wakes me up and I go feed her. Sometimes I’ll roll over and ignore her. Other times, I’ll just lay there and let her have her fun.
When I just lay there, after about five minutes of being ignored, she’ll get pissed and give my hand a little nibble to wake me up. I usually get startled then and she’ll jump out of bed and run to her food dish. Most of the time, I’ll feed her then. No one likes getting bitten awake. Well, I occasionally do but that should be saved for another site.
But I figure one day when my soul has left this wonderful specimen that you call my body, she’ll give me a little nibble and when I don’t move, she might take a chunk or two. Once she gets that first taste of succulent human flesh, she won’t stop until there’s no more of me to eat. And with my body being 99.9999999999999999991% lean muscle, she can eat from my corpse for at least a month! Hopefully someone will realize I haven’t been around by then.
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I was heading to church early this past Sunday morning. I got on the elevator and what did I see???
A guy standing there with a big fat, gray cat in his arms.
I got on the elevator and smiled because it’s always great to see a cat in my apartment complex where cats aren’t allowed. I also smile to let the person know their secret is safe with me (like they care).
I thought we were safely heading to the first floor and no one else would know his secret. I was wrong. 
The elevator stopped on the third floor and four people got in! Three guys and one older lady. I bet the guy almost pooped his pantaloons.
As soon as the elevator door closed, the lady started sneezing. She was holding her nose and mouth shut but the lethal cat poison already got in!
The lady would NOT STOP SNEEZING!!!
We finally made it to the first floor and I couldn’t hold my laughter any longer. I almost fell on the floor from my maniacal laughter.
And now, a picture of a kitty.
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I’m such a dirty liar.
But I want to see infrared light. And once I quit my day job, I’ll make it my life’s work to figure out how I can see infrared light with my own eyeballs.
If you don’t know what infrared light is, I’ll tell you below. It’s not too nerdy but feel free to skip it.
***Nerdy explanation of infrared light***
The light that you can see things with is only one small part of all of the different lights we come in contact with daily. The part of the light spectrum that we can see is between infrared light and ultraviolet light. Infrared light waves are very long and ultraviolet light rays are very short. Too long and short for our almost worthless eyeballs to register. But you can still damage your eyes with ultraviolet light if you look directly into the sun with binoculars. And the rays from ultraviolet supposedly damage your skin when you’re at the beach trying to have a good time.
***Done with nerdy explanation***
Basically, infrared light rays are too long for us to see with our horrible human eyes. But I think it would rock if we could. At least if I could.
Where I Got Such a Brilliant Idea
I got the idea while watching my cat one night. She can see crazy things in the dark and can hear the smallest little poot that I make when I think no one else can hear. She gives me a knowing look and I turn away in disgrace. But if she can see and hear all that, I can imagine that she can see infrared light too.
I doubt anybody would believe me if I said I could see infrared light though. I’d be some normal dude with eyes that look like everybody else’s eyes. But I’ll say, “See that hot thing over there??? Yeah, I can see it looking hot!” They’ll say, “Yeah I turned it on about 5 minutes ago and it has a pot of boiling water on top of it. OF COURSE IT’S HOT!!!”
I guess that wouldn’t be so special.
But just think how cool it would be if you could see infrared light.
The Benefits of Seeing Infrared Light
Don’t you think that would be AWESOME?!?!?!?
For more information on infrared light, read these links:
http://electronics.howstuffworks.com/nightvision1.htm
http://astro.uchicago.edu/cara/about_cara/defn/irlight.html
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My cat used to eat my plants. I had to put them up on a stand that I bought from IKEA.
I bought new pots from Home Depot and filled them up with dirt before I put new plants in them. I found out that my cat was relieving herself in them. That was sad and I thought I had to get rid of the dirt and the pot. But since I’m lazy most of the time, I decided to put the pot on my balcony.
When I repotted my aloe plant last week, I decided to drop a few seeds into the pot with the cat urine and see if anything happens.
I checked on it yesterday and saw that the seeds were actually sprouting in the cat urine pot.
Therefore, I think cat piss is better for your plants than anything else!
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