If I’m not awake by 7am, my cat Munchytoes will jump in the bed with me and start rubbing her head on my hand. That usually wakes me up and I go feed her. Sometimes I’ll roll over and ignore her. Other times, I’ll just lay there and let her have her fun.

When I just lay there, after about five minutes of being ignored, she’ll get pissed and give my hand a little nibble to wake me up. I usually get startled then and she’ll jump out of bed and run to her food dish. Most of the time, I’ll feed her then. No one likes getting bitten awake. Well, I occasionally do but that should be saved for another site.

But I figure one day when my soul has left this wonderful specimen that you call my body, she’ll give me a little nibble and when I don’t move, she might take a chunk or two. Once she gets that first taste of succulent human flesh, she won’t stop until there’s no more of me to eat. And with my body being 99.9999999999999999991% lean muscle, she can eat from my corpse for at least a month! Hopefully someone will realize I haven’t been around by then.

]]> http://www.jermilsadler.com/blog/2008/07/my-cat-will-eat-my-face/feed/ 1 http://www.jermilsadler.com/blog/2008/07/i-have-the-allergy/ http://www.jermilsadler.com/blog/2008/07/i-have-the-allergy/#comments Wed, 02 Jul 2008 12:11:06 +0000 Jermil http://www.jermilsadler.com/blog/?p=186 I was heading to church early this past Sunday morning. I got on the elevator and what did I see???

A guy standing there with a big fat, gray cat in his arms.

I got on the elevator and smiled because it’s always great to see a cat in my apartment complex where cats aren’t allowed. I also smile to let the person know their secret is safe with me (like they care).

I thought we were safely heading to the first floor and no one else would know his secret. I was wrong.

The elevator stopped on the third floor and four people got in! Three guys and one older lady. I bet the guy almost pooped his pantaloons.

As soon as the elevator door closed, the lady started sneezing. She was holding her nose and mouth shut but the lethal cat poison already got in!

The lady would NOT STOP SNEEZING!!!

We finally made it to the first floor and I couldn’t hold my laughter any longer. I almost fell on the floor from my maniacal laughter.

And now, a picture of a kitty.

]]> http://www.jermilsadler.com/blog/2008/07/i-have-the-allergy/feed/ 4 http://www.jermilsadler.com/blog/2008/05/a-club-sandwich/ http://www.jermilsadler.com/blog/2008/05/a-club-sandwich/#comments Fri, 30 May 2008 11:52:22 +0000 Jermil http://www.jermilsadler.com/blog/?p=179 Another wonderfully corny joke from my favorite creepy corny cannibal at work.

A guy goes into a restaurant and orders a club sandwich. They give him two slices of bread and a baseball bat.

(mumbles) So much for that one.

He was talking to some lady in front of me in the cafeteria line. He walked up out of nowhere and started telling her the joke. He kinda glanced back at me while he was telling it. I was dumbfounded that he was telling another corny joke. It seems like that’s his thing.

I knew I should look away but I couldn’t help but stare. Until he got to the very end and the lady he was talking to did her nervous laugh. Then he started looking for someone else to share in his glory. I stared at the ceiling until he walked away mumbling to himself.

I bought new pots from Home Depot and filled them up with dirt before I put new plants in them. I found out that my cat was relieving herself in them. That was sad and I thought I had to get rid of the dirt and the pot. But since I’m lazy most of the time, I decided to put the pot on my balcony.

When I repotted my aloe plant last week, I decided to drop a few seeds into the pot with the cat urine and see if anything happens.

I checked on it yesterday and saw that the seeds were actually sprouting in the cat urine pot.

Therefore, I think cat piss is better for your plants than anything else!

The morning of a Friday off is even better.

Be well.