Jermil Sadler's Blog » funny

How Not To Fix A Paper Shredder

Jermil — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 18:59:10 +0000

This is the long awaited follow-up to my extremely old post titled Rock Climbing Hurts.

[3:08:47 AM] CM: wait i don’t think i ever read “rock climbing hurts” lol
[3:10:22 AM] CM: LOL at you jamming your paper shredder LOL
[3:11:12 AM] JS: yeah that was silly of me
[3:11:28 AM] JS: i poured cooking oil into it to try to soften the paper and get it going
[3:11:30 AM] JS: didn’t work
[3:11:38 AM] CM: you were in a shredding frenzy
[3:11:38 AM] JS: i think i blew the motor after getting it jammed
[3:11:43 AM] CM: wait
[3:11:43 AM] CM: what?!?
[3:11:45 AM] JS: LOL
[3:11:48 AM] CM: oil?
[3:11:52 AM] CM: on the shredder?
[3:11:53 AM] JS: yeah i read about that online
[3:12:00 AM] JS: to make the paper all soft and get it running again
[3:12:03 AM] CM: LOL
[3:12:08 AM] CM: hmmm
[3:12:11 AM] JS: by then i wasnt going to do anything else
[3:12:15 AM] JS: i was ready to throw it away
[3:12:18 AM] JS: so i said why not
[3:12:19 AM] CM: ok so mechanical engineering is not your thing
[3:12:28 AM] JS: LOL
[3:12:37 AM] CM: lol
[3:12:40 AM] CM: i can’t stop laughing
[3:13:02 AM] CM: LOLOL
[3:13:05 AM] CM: ahhhhhhhhhhhh
[3:13:27 AM] CM: i’m picturing you dumping all this cooking oil on this machine with crumpled paper all in it
[3:13:34 AM] CM: bits of paper on the carpet
[3:13:53 AM] JS: LOL i guess i may have looked a bit silly
[3:13:58 AM] CM: lol

The Office – Fire Drill

Jermil — Sun, 08 Feb 2009 17:55:39 +0000

After seeing this video, I think I’ll give The Office another try. I think the only reason this doesn’t happen when the fire alarm goes off at real jobs is because no one ever thinks it’s a real fire. I know if I saw smoke, I’d smash a window too!

Elevator Races

Jermil — Sat, 27 Sep 2008 16:00:49 +0000

As a kid who thought he was an adult but still acted like a kid most of the time, my friends and I did a lot of dumb stuff in college. Some of it was dumb as in nobody should be doing this. But some of it was dumb like something a 7 year old would do and think it rocks.

One thing we used to do whenever the situation presented itself was have elevator races.

I’ll first explain what I mean by elevator race…

It starts when two or more people (usually who know each other) are waiting for an elevator. One person presses the button to call the elevator. The elevator approaches that floor. Coincidentally, some random person is on the other elevator and is coming to that same floor. Both doors open at approximately the same time. The two people who were waiting on the elevator make eye contact and immediately run inside separate elevators and press the button to the same floor. The first one to make it to that floor jumps out of the elevator and yells out that they made it in hopes of doing so before the other person.

I was reminded about this childish practice when I was leaving my apartment building last week.

I was getting off the elevator at the first floor and some 7 year old kid came running in yelling ELEVATOR RACE!!! I looked in the other elevator and his mom was in it smiling. It gave me fond memories of a more carefree time in my life. Then I was repulsed at the thought of being 18 or so doing the same things that a 7 year old does.

In the end, the warm glow of the fond memories won and I basked in it until I got to work where a dark storm cloud followed me for the rest of the day.

Have yourself an elevator race today! It’s quite a rush and takes away from the monotony of riding an elevator.

How Dare You Say I’m Not Evil

Jermil — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 11:42:25 +0000

When I was flying to San Diego on Friday, I had a layover in Denver. Pretty uneventful.

On the flight from Denver, a young couple sat next to me. A slim young girl and a big, burly, football player type guy. They looked to be high school aged.

The flight was about 2.5 hours and they didn’t bring anything to occupy themselves. I had Narendra‘s book The Complete Idiot’s Guide to the Kama Sutra. Life was good.

The guy eventually got his laptop out and played on that for a minute or two. Then he passed it to his ladyfriend and she started playing that lame pinball game that comes with Windows XP. She quickly got bored of that and started playing Solitaire.

She seemed like she didn’t know much about the game except how to play it. The guy had to tell her to double click on cards and they’ll pop up where the aces are.

After a few games, she was finally getting close to winning. All she had to do was click on all the cards and make them pop up to where the aces are. That’s when I decided to step in.

I told her that if she hits ALT and F4 at the same time, it’ll put all the cards up there and she won’t have to double click them. What it really does is closes solitaire completely similar to going to File > Exit.

After she did it, I couldn’t stop laughing!!!

Unfortunately, she didn’t get pissed. Her and the boyfriend laughed cheerfully.

I guess sometimes… Evil Is Good.

I Have the Allergy

Jermil — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 12:11:06 +0000

I was heading to church early this past Sunday morning. I got on the elevator and what did I see???

A guy standing there with a big fat, gray cat in his arms.

I got on the elevator and smiled because it’s always great to see a cat in my apartment complex where cats aren’t allowed. I also smile to let the person know their secret is safe with me (like they care).

I thought we were safely heading to the first floor and no one else would know his secret. I was wrong.

The elevator stopped on the third floor and four people got in! Three guys and one older lady. I bet the guy almost pooped his pantaloons.

As soon as the elevator door closed, the lady started sneezing. She was holding her nose and mouth shut but the lethal cat poison already got in!

The lady would NOT STOP SNEEZING!!!

We finally made it to the first floor and I couldn’t hold my laughter any longer. I almost fell on the floor from my maniacal laughter.

And now, a picture of a kitty.

Crazy Horn Honking Old Lady

Jermil — Thu, 15 May 2008 11:34:30 +0000

While I was driving to the boonies in Virginia, this crazy horn honking old lady pulled up out of nowhere and wouldn’t stop honking her horn.

I assumed someone cut her off and she was enacting the only revenge someone her age could. But then I figured she was just having fun trying to piss people off during rush hour. That would’ve been my reason. I joined in after a while and so did another driver.

Either way, I thought it was hilarious and I have video!

Enjoy!!!

Crazy Horn-Honking Old Lady from Jermil on Vimeo.

Funniest Knock Knock Joke EVER!

Jermil — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 10:13:45 +0000

You’d be hard pressed to find a funny knock-knock joke these days. But I stumbled upon the funniest one I’ve ever heard. (This does not include ages 9 and younger when everything was funny.)

You: Oh man, I just heard this really great knock knock joke. Want to hear it?

Them: Sure.

You: You start.

Them: Ok…..knock knock.

You: Who’s there?

Them: . . . 0_o

I tried it out as soon as I read it and it’s hilarious to hear their reaction once they realize they’re telling a joke that they don’t know.

Found here.
On an unrelated note…

Put em on the glass!!!

Jermil

Burger Bowl Off

Jermil — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 12:01:32 +0000

Neg’s Urban Sports.

Check out the related videos too. Hilarious!

Warning… People Are Dumber Than You Think!

Jermil — Fri, 07 Mar 2008 13:19:21 +0000

I saw this on a safe at my job…

WARNING!!!
Do not store the key in the safe itself!!!

REALLY???

Some people have to be told that???

I thought people were supposed to be super smart here.

These are the same people that are “HOPING TO APPLY RADIO TECHNOLOGY TO ASTRONAUT SPACESUITS“.

Good luck to future space monkeys.

Omazing Grace

Jermil — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 18:45:38 +0000

Happy Black History Month!