I see this guy who looks like the used-to-be fat Al Roker in the cafeteria at work.
Whenever he gets his horrible burger and bucket of french fries, he heads back off to his girl scout cookie crumb-covered desk. I bet he eats those things with one hand (masturbation joke).
But as he walks back through the halls to his horrible, disgusting, smelly desk, he is stuffing his fat face with whatever garbage he just bought in the worthless cafeteria.
I think it’s gross when someone is so physically fat and soulfully gluttonous that they can’t wait until they sit down somewhere before they start stuffing their muzzle with their nauseating meal.
I could slightly excuse if you want a sampling of the garbage that you just bought and decide to chomp on a greasy french fry. But to stuff fry after fry into your fat gullet is just unclean and nasty and filthy.
If you need to eat that bad, eat in the cafeteria! Pay for your food, sit down 10 feet away from the cash register, stuff your smelly, fleshy face, and go back to your grimy desk with pictures of your fat wife and dumb kids.
So gross. 
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Hmmm…judgemental much?? And why are you close enough to someone you find so repulsive that you can actually smell his “fleshy face”…hmmm???
Ha, I’d think the same thing. Guys like him are past the point of no return in their minds, so they might as well pig out.
Just don’t think about how his kids came about….EWWWW
dude. this is officially the meanest thing I’ve heard all week.
but it was also the funniest thing I’ve heard. you get 50 life points for that one.
It’s one thing to judge him by what you have witnessed, but did you have to bring his wife and kids into it? Have you actually met them or do you just assume they are fat and dumb?
Amanda:
I told you about that tub the first time I saw him. Then I didn’t see him for about a month and forgot all about it. But for this entire week, I’ve seen him EVERY SINGLE DAY stuffing himself while he was waiting in line to pay for his food or while walking back in the hallway. Oh and his face smells delightful. Sorta smells like fried… well, fried everything!
Narendra:
Thank you! I can’t blame him though. As you get older, it gets harder to maintain your weight let alone lose any. I’d do the same thing. But still, it was all in good fun. I guess.
Sarah:
Actually I did have to bring his wife and kids into it. It was the funny thing to say so I had to. But I did see his two jelly-belly boys at “take your rugrat to work day” today. They were GARGANTUAN!!! Okay that’s a lie but that was kinda funny too right? (rhetorical question)
Thanks man! A lot of people hated this one. It made me feel better ripping into him internetally.