So Antonio, Ashley, and I were at Chili’s in Springfield after witnessing the Wizards deliver spankings upon the Detroit Pistons at the Verizon Center. For some reason, he has an extreme abomination for sauces that are white. For some reason, he decided to order a BBQ Ranch burger. Of course he asked our nameless waiter to keep that ranch dressing back in the kitchen where it belongs. The waiter had no problem with such a reasonable request. I decided to do what I do best and hopefully cause a bit of mischief. I told the waiter that Antonio would like mayonnaise instead of that wretched ranch dressing. The waiter looked at Antonio and Antonio looked at me a bit confused. Nameless waiter didn’t know any better so he started to write. Antonio almost lost it. He couldn’t tell him no fast enough. The waiter seemed a bit confused but stopped writing and walked away.
After what felt like 5 hours later, the food finally came. Antonio checked his burger for any mysterious white creams or sauces. After being satisfied with his inspection, he dove on in.
We’re eating and talking and laughing and having a good old burger eating time. As Antonio stuck his last bite of BBQ Ranch burger minus ranch into his mouth, I noticed an odd white substance on his sleeve. I almost didn’t tell him so that he could enjoy his last bite. But then I realized that wouldn’t be any fun. I told him as soon as he put the last hunk of cow into his mouth. He looked at his sleeve, then at his plate. I could almost hear the bile rising up from his stomach as he prepared to vomit all of that processed cow meat onto the table for all of us to enjoy.
Somehow, he kept it all down as he struggled to figure out from where this white stickiness on his sleeve spawned. He finished the slab of beef that was in his mouth without knowing the original location of the mysterious cream. It remains a puzzle to this day.
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HAHAHAHAHAHA! That is hilarious. I can’t wait for him to read the story. Too bad you didn’t see it from my angle cause that food was hanging on for dear life at one point. I think me telling him to eat it was the only reason it didn’t come back out of his mouth faster. But of course I wouldn’t doubt that he would disagree with me. We’ll see what his story is.
Hi-fucking-larious!!!!!!!!!